Some days I think we are totally hanging in there with parenting, and some days I feel like we have NO earthly idea what we’re doing. Are we raising a future pope or a future Simon Cowell? If he turns out to be the next Simon Cowell, I’m afraid I’ll have to become a fan of Simon Cowell. Because I love this kid so much.
(The sound of breaking wind — his own.)
“I hear a firetruck.”
(Running around with a plastic hanger as weapon.)
“Hooker! Hooker! Hooker! I’m going to hooker you!”
(Running around with a toy that I thought was a ball launcher, but is more honestly a hot purple gun.)
“I’m going to shot you! Shot! Shot!”
(Observing the on-duty lifeguard’s deep slumber.)
“Is the lifesaver taking a nap? He’s not watching me.”
(Out of the clear blue.)
“Not all kids are bootiful, Mom. Some are not bootiful.”
Someone smart told me that I’d probably spend the first year abroad analyzing every last inch of what is different. And then eventually, I’ll get adjusted and find things like these oddities completely normal and whatever no big deal. And then it will take me an entire year back in the States (or any other place) to realize these were incredibly weird in the first place.
Here’s to finding weird stuff normal!
Because every mother needs a statue of what her baby might look like were he to be buried alive. By a company named Pearhead. Seen at Toys ‘R’ Us (pronounced Toys Russ).
Ladies who lunch, take a load off. That Dior bag looks heavy. Seen at one of the zillions of malls.
Exactly the phrase I would have suggested to promote children’s toys in a children’s toy store. You read my mind. Seen at Toys Russ.
Keep telling yourself that, Causeway Bay.
Now this, I can get used to. Favorite socks of all time, available with the swipe of an Octopus! I am my mother’s daughter.